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Knowing who you are,  who you think you are and what you ideally want and don’t want in your life is part of the mind control process. It involves time alone, quiet and reflective time during which you can listen to your thoughts, and reflect upon the day and yourself.

Self-awareness is the essence of emotional intelligence. The ability to monitor your emotions and thoughts from moment to moment is key to understanding yourself better, being at peace with who you are and proactively managing your thoughts, emotions and behaviours. It also allows you to understand other people, how they perceive you, and your attitude and responses to them in the moment. It enables you to learn which thoughts, emotions and behaviours as well as responses to others empower you and which ones make you weaker.

Becoming self-aware is an early step in the creation of the life that you want. It helps you pinpoint what your passions and emotions are, and how your personality can help you in life. You can recognise where your thoughts and emotions are leading you, and make any necessary changes in the direction of your future.

If you don’t make your life, thoughts, goals and time a priority, you will be lost in the current of other people’s desires and expectations.

Knowing yourself includes knowing where you direct your energy and time. Knowing your own hidden and unconscious motives and self-sabotage techniques.  Knowing why you do what you do even if it doesn’t serve you. We often avoid change, confrontation and pain through distractions. We transport our minds to some other time and space where it can be safe from the pain of day to day life. We overuse electronics, we obsess about the past or our potential futures and make plans we’ll never keep or simply try to forget. We eat and drink ourselves into numbness to dull the reality of our problems. We use books, movies, and games to carry us to another world where there is no pain and things feel easy and good.

There is nothing wrong with distraction. We do need some sort of diversion. The key is that we need to be aware of our distractions. In another words, we need to make sure that we are choosing our ‘self-sabotaging time’ and that it is not choosing us.

Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it. Life is indeed like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs. Knowing yourself well enough throughout the highs and lows and not judging yourself for past mistakes is essential. Be kind to yourself, especially in difficult moments. You are most likely doing your best anyway.

We all get lost on the way and feel helpless sometimes. This happens when we get lulled into believing that we are not resourceful enough, and do not trust our own powerful nature, looking for guidance or advice from others or because we are over-analysing the situation and trying to figure it out with our rational mind. Yet, by looking at the problem from the worrying level, you don’t solve the problem. The more you stay in the problem’s frequency, the bigger the problem becomes.

A self-generated and self-empowered human being is what you want to be to have a feeling of living your life fully and enjoyably.  Victimhood is not allowed in the new way of living as the ‘poor me’ syndrome takes away your personal power. Remember, what you focus on grows.

Reflection time

Quieten your mind and ask yourself: is what I want to be really in sync with who I really am, or is it something I was told I should become?

Exercise I

  1. Sit quietly, allow yourself to rest physically, emotionally and mentally by your preferred ways and focus your awareness within. Put your hand on your heart and sense the heartbeat.
  2. Ask your heart what it needs in order to have an increasing sense of self, of who you really are and what you are here to do. Don’t force the answer, just trust whatever comes to you: if it is just a peaceful feeling, this is already an answer. This exercise, like any other exercise, needs training.

Exercise II

  1. Keep a journal. You can write about anything in your journal. Recording your thoughts on paper helps you to relieve your mind of these ideas and clears up space for new information and thoughts.
  2. Take some time each night to write in your journal about your thoughts and feelings. What are your highest values and what is most important to you right now?

Author: Emilie Janda

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