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Such a scary emotion…the feeling called  “fear”…we do want to avoid it as much s possible and sometimes at all cost! Can knowing our fears can help us to deal with them? Yes, it can.

Do you know what your own “usual” fears are? Maybe you never really looked at what are your deepest fears?

What is fear anyway? What is that shadow area? Until it is looked at, fear often exists as a feeling of heaviness, worry or concern.

We want often turn around and run away from fear, hoping that what we don’t see doesn’t exist. Experience teaches us though that this strategy doesn’t work. Running away or pretending that what we fear doesn’t exist is a failing strategy. It might work for a short moment as an immediate relief but in the long run the fear can get even bigger and more complex.

To dissolve fear, we can turn and look directly at it, as what we face dissolves in the light of consciousness.

We do things that we are not always aware of, that we think will bring us safety and security in the form of money, status, relationships etc. And yet we never really reach a feeling of complete safety, security and love no matter how hard we try.

The truth is that we can experience a feeling of safety and security without engaging in  sometimes desperate actions.

Your inner wisdom knows already that you are safe, loved and taken care of; that there is nothing to fear. If you relaxed into that knowing, you wouldn’t need to do what makes you tired, empty or exhausted to cover up the fear that  lurks behind many of the actions you take.

You can feel safe in any situation, at any time, knowing that you can manage any challenge in the best way possible and with the best outcome. Trusting yourself is the key.

How to manage fear?

Meditation is, for a very good reason, one of the best tools in fear management. The purpose of meditation is to get you out of the analysing mind that is worrying and picturing scenarios that only keep you disempowered and convince you that you depend on outer circumstances to feel safe and secure. Also, in meditation, you are able to look directly at the fear from a distance without getting involved with it.

Trusting yourself and being truly yourself can bring out fear in you. Choosing the life you wish to live for yourself can bring out lots of fear. Speaking your mind and knowing what you want can be challenging. Yet, when you are willing to face your fear it does lose power over you.

And remember, nothing lasts forever, not even the worst nightmare!

Reflection time

What is your worst or recurring fear? Are you afraid to look directly at the cause of this fear? How would you feel if you did not have this fear in your life?

Exercise I

Relaxation technique when you are taken by fear:

  1. Find a quiet place, sit in a comfortable chair with your hands resting in your lap. Become aware of your breathing.  Inhale deeply through your nose and exhale gently through your mouth.
  2. Imagine that you are standing under a waterfall with water slowly running all over your body. Imagine that the water is falling from the top of your head to your toes. Feel the top of your head relaxing, your eyes relaxing, cheekbones relaxing, the jaw relaxing, the neck and shoulders relaxing. Allow all tension to flow away as your body becomes more relaxed. Feel your arms relaxing, your hands in your lap relaxing.  Allow your throat to relax, your chest to relax, your abdomen to relax, your legs to relax, your feet and toes to relax.  Every part of your body is now relaxed. 
  3. Continue to visualise the waterfall washing away any tension, any anxiety or stress in your body. Enjoy the feeling of becoming fully relaxed, noticing how relaxed you can be. 

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Author: Emilie Janda

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